Topic:
true love... or death...
Prose:
Raina's family had been camping for a few days now and Raina was sound asleep next to her sister Sammy. Raina woke-up to the sound of thunder and saw it there was a huge storm. She looked where Sammy was soppost to be sleeping and saw she wasn' there. She looked at the window. It was open. She crawled out and saw a figure holding a small body. Sammy! "Sammy!" Raina yelled and the figure ran. Raina chased after the figure and they stopped. "Come any closer and I'll kill her!" They warned. It was a man's voice.
Ripped apart:
Ripped apart:
Raina's family had been camping for a few days now [What a plain, boring opening sentence!] and Raina was sound asleep next to her sister Sammy. Raina woke-up [She didn't just wake up, she woke-up. What's with random hyphenating? It's about as perplexing to me as random apostrophe placement!] to the sound of thunder [DUN DUN DUNNNNNN~!] and saw it there was a huge storm [SAW IT THERE WAS!]. She looked where Sammy was soppost [Again... why would you put your PROSE on the internet, expect OTHERS to crtitque it, and be too lazy yourself to even so much as spell check? Come on, seriously!] to be sleeping and saw she wasn' [Again, spell check lacking?] there. She looked at the window. It was open. [Where did the window come from? I thought they were CAMPING. Unless they're camping in a camper trailer (LAME) and even then their windows don't just sit wide open. They're screened... TO PREVENT BUGS FROM ENTERING. Small details, my friends, small details.]She crawled out and saw a figure holding a small body. [Fail at onimous attempt?] Sammy! [Fail to start new paragraph]"Sammy!" Raina yelled and the figure ran[HORRID sentence! It's so basic. It's something you'd find in a children's book. "Spot!" Jimmy yelled, and the puppy ran. A DURRRRRH] . Raina chased after the figure and they stopped[And apparently it's as complex as it gets...] . [Another failure to start a new paragraph...]"Come any closer and I'll kill her!" They warned. It was a man's voice.[This is so dumb. I'm sorry. My head just exploded all over my screen. Hold on, I'm off to find the masking tape.]
Okay, so as if this is not enough, she REPLIES TO HER OWN POST under different user names that are in fact the same. How does that work? Well, they're all different user names... but ALL FOLLOWED by "11111." For example (not the actual user name) one would be Vampires11111 and another is Bloodizawesum11111. There's three in total. The first one posts the prose, and the second one (under a new user name) posts not TWO MINUTES LATER (in a forum where you have to sometimes wait a couple HOURS for a reply.
So under this different yet strikingly similar SN, she posts as a different person:
"I must know what happened ROSE! PLEASE POST MORE! ANY ONE WHO POST A MEAN COMMENT DON'T EVEN TRY!"
Wow, hon. Your basic communication skills are worse than your writing. And who on earth would be that hyped up over the tiny piece of crap that is posted above? I tell you who. NOBODY. Well, apparently your alter-ego is prodding your ego-ego for a better story.
So after this gross outburst a forum reg posts with about as much time as this person deserves in constructive criticism as: "T-troll?" I couldn't agree more.
After that, and I mean HOURS after that, another 11111 SN pops up and posts:
"Oh Sis! This story is great! Post more teehee!"
WTF. Hold on, I bled out my masking tape, you hold onto my computer while I bash my face against it, alright? My face that is no longer there because Skitzo's prose made my head explode. And now it is imploding as a result of her idea of promoting her thread. Stop it, lady, the world is not STUPID.
Okay, so from ditzy sister's profile, she has a picture of THE POSTER'S ICON and the words "This is my twin sister Rose! We look unidentical! We are best friends!!!!!!!" TWINZ THAT ARE BEST FRIENDS AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THE OTHER WORD FOR UNIDENTICAL IS! Good lord! I'm afraid that I may have picked on a nine year old today!
But it's a 13+ forum, so I don't feel bad.
The second one, the alter-ego, has a picture of the poster's icon with the words "dis iz mai intertnet sis dont mess wit hur!!!!" Wow. Brilliant.
And of course the poster's profile is the only one of the three anyone paid attention to, has SHIT Japanese music reflecting off of it. What's more, after the crappy Jap music on the playlist comes Linkin Park which is an extra kick in the balls to me... way to soil the song, Skitzo.
Okay. I initially figured I wouldn't share any user names or names incolved period, but this one is too good not to share:
Dark_Death_Rose1111
Icing on the cake.
Okay, so as if this is not enough, she REPLIES TO HER OWN POST under different user names that are in fact the same. How does that work? Well, they're all different user names... but ALL FOLLOWED by "11111." For example (not the actual user name) one would be Vampires11111 and another is Bloodizawesum11111. There's three in total. The first one posts the prose, and the second one (under a new user name) posts not TWO MINUTES LATER (in a forum where you have to sometimes wait a couple HOURS for a reply.
So under this different yet strikingly similar SN, she posts as a different person:
"I must know what happened ROSE! PLEASE POST MORE! ANY ONE WHO POST A MEAN COMMENT DON'T EVEN TRY!"
Wow, hon. Your basic communication skills are worse than your writing. And who on earth would be that hyped up over the tiny piece of crap that is posted above? I tell you who. NOBODY. Well, apparently your alter-ego is prodding your ego-ego for a better story.
So after this gross outburst a forum reg posts with about as much time as this person deserves in constructive criticism as: "T-troll?" I couldn't agree more.
After that, and I mean HOURS after that, another 11111 SN pops up and posts:
"Oh Sis! This story is great! Post more teehee!"
WTF. Hold on, I bled out my masking tape, you hold onto my computer while I bash my face against it, alright? My face that is no longer there because Skitzo's prose made my head explode. And now it is imploding as a result of her idea of promoting her thread. Stop it, lady, the world is not STUPID.
Okay, so from ditzy sister's profile, she has a picture of THE POSTER'S ICON and the words "This is my twin sister Rose! We look unidentical! We are best friends!!!!!!!" TWINZ THAT ARE BEST FRIENDS AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THE OTHER WORD FOR UNIDENTICAL IS! Good lord! I'm afraid that I may have picked on a nine year old today!
But it's a 13+ forum, so I don't feel bad.
The second one, the alter-ego, has a picture of the poster's icon with the words "dis iz mai intertnet sis dont mess wit hur!!!!" Wow. Brilliant.
And of course the poster's profile is the only one of the three anyone paid attention to, has SHIT Japanese music reflecting off of it. What's more, after the crappy Jap music on the playlist comes Linkin Park which is an extra kick in the balls to me... way to soil the song, Skitzo.
Okay. I initially figured I wouldn't share any user names or names incolved period, but this one is too good not to share:
Dark_Death_Rose1111
Icing on the cake.
LMAO that is GREAT
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